clearly i haven't updated my blog in well...forever, no good excuse besides life and school...
anyway, i had my first dream of getting shot the other night..i've had shooting dreams before, but this is the fist time I was shot at...in my dream i was on duty in some small town and got shot, don't worry, i returned fire...the shot hit me on my lower left quadrant, just below the ribcage...i passed out for awhile, then woke up in some bathtub full of bright red water, with a few helpless people around me...i stood up, got out of the water, and asked the people what the f they were doing, and why the f they weren't helping me...and i distinctly remember saying "fuck this, i'm not gonna let this shit kill me" then instructed people on how to care for me and minimize bleeding until help arrived...then i woke up in a cold sweat, and i'm pretty sure i could see my heart pounding out of my chest like a cartoon character in love, but this shit wasn't love... it was fear...then i immediately felt for the gunshot wound...it wasn't there, and my guts weren't leaking out, and finally calmness started to set back in and i eventually fell back asleep...
if i was into dream interpretations, i am sure that this would mean something...but the important part is that i survived, and that i now know, that even deep in my subconscious, i refused to give up...at the academy this was called the warrior mentality i believe...keep fighting, always survive.
given my life right now, i think this was an appropriate dream, and a reality check, and a reminder that, regardless of the situation i will ALWAYS save myself and win.
