arrival

so, after 9 months of anticipation (well, only 7 for me), the baby has arrived...sadly, my name suggestion did not make the cut, but i am fairly satisfied with the name picked....Benji Leo....from what i can see so far, he is pretty cute, and he has already peed on jane, and on his own face...hopefully he will learn quickly that peeing on one's own face isn't really acceptable...anywhoo, here he is:



and sally is already pretty excited to be a big sister...however my favorite thing is that she calls benji her baby sister, and just laughs when she is corrected...love love love!



i am debating how upset my family will get if i call benji sawyer anyway...i mean, i'm probably never going to have children, so shouldn't i get to name at least one of hers? Either way, benji is pretty perfect, and i'm gonna go visit him, sally, maria, and weston in 10 days, i can't wait!

also, question....if this is jane and byron's new baby, does that make sally an old baby, or like out of date, or used, or just less new?...hmmmm....

"art"

thing i draw on my phone during class:

"wolf in boots"


the original wolf in boots is currently in an undisclosed location...

"dc"



my rendition of what dc looks like, prior to me going....i must say, i was pretty accurate...

"rainbow spewing dragon"



"i have no idea what you are, but you have rainbow hair, therefore i love you"


i think i need to start taking more difficult classes, or start paying attention....rest assured, there will be new art as the year continues....

EDIT

immediately after posting my last post i realized that was not a unicorn, it was a rainbow horse....i am not a horse girl, i am a unicorn girl...i think i became infatuated with the rainbow mane, i didn't realize that horse didn't have a horn, therefore is not a unicorn...i am probably going to give that rainbow horse an inferiority complex, but this is a unicorn, and i really love unicorns....



also, i google image searched "real purple unicorn" the results were devastating, don't EVER do it....

brain washing

so, ever since i blogged about washing my brain i have been kind of obsessing about it....last night i have had horrible visions of brain washing....literally...i mean, i have never seen an actual human brain, but i'm pretty sure it doesn't come apart in pieces, that look similar to an intestine....but last night, when i was trying to go to sleep, all i could imagine was my brains being taken out of my head and it being washed, but it didn't look like brain, it looked more like small intestine, and i swear i could feel it stinging...i think i am officially going crazy...



apparently i'm not the only person who has thought of brain washing literally...i feel so much more normal now.



from now on i will only think about unicorns, that way they will be the last thing i think about before i go to bed...i hope i have a dream that i am a unicorn.

rawr

i'm not really sure how to start this blog, but it is probably going to be my most epic blog post yet...but before i start, i think you should know that i often have some epic ideas for blogs, but i am not at a computer, and when i return to a computer and begin to blog, i have completely forgotten what i wanted to blog about and so no blog comes to be....but today, when this blog came to me, i told myself i would remember this blog, and so far i have, so now i must start, as to not forget and repeat the cycle....

so, this morning, i was in the shower washing my hair, and as it was lathering, i began imagining washing my brain...and began wondering if washing my brain would get all of the dirty thoughts out of my head, but before i could even finish that thought i began panicking on getting all of the soap out of my brain...like if i didn't get all the soap out of my brain would it remain in the wrinkles and sting? and then i remembered my sister's baby is due on saturday...for the past nine months i have been hoping for a baby boy...mostly because i want to dress it in cute flannels and sweater vests and boots, and call it sawyer, no matter what it's real name is...but then this morning i started freaking out (again) about said baby being a boy while i was thinking about rinsing all the shampoo out of my brain--i realized that changing a baby boy's diaper is far different than a girl's diaper...there are more attachments and wrinkles...and what if i don't properly clean sawyer's wrinkles and his penis falls off? I will never be allowed to babysit again! and then i imagined getting peed on by this baby boy, because that shit will spray...but that can be prevented...i will get a birthday party hat to put on baby's pee-pee so it doesn't pee on me--now that part doesn't scare me anymore. but maybe jane can just have a girl now, that i can dress in flannel and sweater vests and boots and call sawyer. problem solved.

I don't remember if it was before or after all of this, but i was reading my new favorite blog which you should totally check out and the author talks a lot about wearing a wolf shirt...and this made me remember that kelli martin thought she was a native american when she was little, and in my mind, she wore a wolf shirt that said "montana" on it, but i don't think you will get the full effect unless i draw a picture....


that is the best i could do on my first try.

before i finish this blog i must tell you what i saw on my way to work today...i saw a girl wearing short running shorts and dark brown uggs...this is a fashion fail...if you know that you will be wearing short running shorts, please refrain from wearing uggs, or if you know that you are going to be wearing uggs, please refrain from wearing short running shorts...but, at least she had warm ankles....

oh, and i want a purple unicorn cake for christmas, one that is standing up, or raring back, with rainbows coming out of its mouth and a mane of rainbow....

power animal

it has become clear to me that the unicorn is my power animal...



my power animal unicorn is magical and can change colors, and is usually purple, but for purposes of this blog is going to remain white.

for christmas i would like this in size xs...thanks santa.

communication

so, this week, i was told that i communicate physically....i think that explains whey i really like this:



and this:



and this:



and when asked to do this:


(and i don't mean become a cartoon, i could totally do that...i mean "communicating" but maybe if i started wearing a bow in my hair i could communicate better...i'm gonna try that)

my mind does this:



and i freakthefuckout and my mind shuts down......and i don't really get it because my job and survival relies on excellent communication skills, and i think i do a pretty damn good job of communication at work. but when it comes to my personal life, and communication, all i want to do is this:


(and i don't mean be on the l word, i mean cuddle, but i would be really okay being shane so i could cuddle carmen)

maybe communication is a skill i can learn to work on....

o.m.g.

=oh. my. glee.



glee dance party: tomorrow night. in my mind it will be similar to the lady gaga episode. i'm going as Brittany S. Pierce, in my cheer outfit.

eff!!

three hours ago i bought these...



three minutes ago i spilled this on those:



fml.

luckily i have this:



i will sleep like a baby on that plane.

my extended weekend....

where i am going:



where i am staying:


who i am sleeping with hoping to meet:

kitty purry...

love love love....

S&M

"I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it..." -Rihanna, S&M



Thank you, Rihanna, for summing up my life in such a perfect phrase....I think this means we should have babies together.

Ellen...

First, let me just say, I think that Ellen De-G is like sooo hot! I hope that I look this hot when I am 50 (and have a wife as hot as portia)...I am going to need to purchase some vests. and like 293 pairs of sweet sneakers, then we'll basically be like twins.



Also, in my quest to become Ellen De-G, please begin calling me by my middle name...

I can haz?

all i really want is a pile of puppies...



or at least just these two...