so, this morning, i was in the shower washing my hair, and as it was lathering, i began imagining washing my brain...and began wondering if washing my brain would get all of the dirty thoughts out of my head, but before i could even finish that thought i began panicking on getting all of the soap out of my brain...like if i didn't get all the soap out of my brain would it remain in the wrinkles and sting? and then i remembered my sister's baby is due on saturday...for the past nine months i have been hoping for a baby boy...mostly because i want to dress it in cute flannels and sweater vests and boots, and call it sawyer, no matter what it's real name is...but then this morning i started freaking out (again) about said baby being a boy while i was thinking about rinsing all the shampoo out of my brain--i realized that changing a baby boy's diaper is far different than a girl's diaper...there are more attachments and wrinkles...and what if i don't properly clean sawyer's wrinkles and his penis falls off? I will never be allowed to babysit again! and then i imagined getting peed on by this baby boy, because that shit will spray...but that can be prevented...i will get a birthday party hat to put on baby's pee-pee so it doesn't pee on me--now that part doesn't scare me anymore. but maybe jane can just have a girl now, that i can dress in flannel and sweater vests and boots and call sawyer. problem solved.
I don't remember if it was before or after all of this, but i was reading my new favorite blog which you should totally check out and the author talks a lot about wearing a wolf shirt...and this made me remember that kelli martin thought she was a native american when she was little, and in my mind, she wore a wolf shirt that said "montana" on it, but i don't think you will get the full effect unless i draw a picture....
that is the best i could do on my first try.
before i finish this blog i must tell you what i saw on my way to work today...i saw a girl wearing short running shorts and dark brown uggs...this is a fashion fail...if you know that you will be wearing short running shorts, please refrain from wearing uggs, or if you know that you are going to be wearing uggs, please refrain from wearing short running shorts...but, at least she had warm ankles....
oh, and i want a purple unicorn cake for christmas, one that is standing up, or raring back, with rainbows coming out of its mouth and a mane of rainbow....
Well, that at least makes the naming part easy for us...Sawyer, boy or girl, done. And you can rest assured that they have a solution for the problem of being pee'd on - they are called a "pee pee tee pee" and yes they are just like a party hat, but not as big (unless of course you were imagining a tiny party hat) and a little more absorbent. We will be sure to have some of these when you get here if it is a boy. AND if you are shampooing with MY shampoo and conditioner I am sure it won't sting your brain wrinkles...it will probably actually help with the wrinkles....and warm ankles are important, but I agree totally a fashion fail! Love you! PS I am having contractions 7 min apart...again...
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